Goolphipp Award: 2.25 (See the Cheap Matinee)
Goolsby:
Why do they make movies that are geared for kids PG-13? This movie was not for adults, it failed to keep me entertained or interested. I could see how kids could be entertained by it, but I just about gave up half way through. The only reason I half watched was because of a surprise Joseph Gordon-Levitt who plays "The Doctor." Of course I must also mention Channing Tatum. The more I think about it, I think that the actors were lured in by their own boyhood memories. I think most people over 20 will go see it because of its nostalgia aspect.
The whole thing was just too much CG for me to handle. If money was the issue they should have made their sets smaller, covered less expansive and useless "cool" shots, and focused on delivering some real stuff. If you're going to do a completed CG movie, than do it, don't try to mix one part live action, with fifteen parts CG - its bound to end up looking like a Bedazzled giant sloth. Poor movie. It had potential, and was ruined. The plot was well thought out, flowed fine, but ruined by the over use of the green screen.
As far as violence goes - it was fine. I think adult fighting is okay, but there were some kid-on-kid fighting scenes that I think would be a bad influence on the kiddies. Other than that, I only noticed one or two curse words. The lead female was of course put in tight tight clothing, unnecessary again. Bah. Bah. Bah. This movie needed to make up its mind. Adult or kid, not this mix-n-match stuff. I mean look at the toys! This is for kids, but yet compiled and rated PG-13. Weird, a toy Channing Tatum and Gordon-Levitt. Welcome to the world of plastic forever. Ugh. Thank you Joseph Gordon-Levitt for keeping me awake.
Goolsby overall: 2.5
No excuses. Try harder next time.
Phipps:
I was super excited for this movie. Action, action, action. I dismissed the speculation about GI Joe's lack of critical review, because I've known many movies that are actually better than the critics think. Here's the breakdown:
1) The storyline of the movie was great. I've got no complaints. Non-stop action. It was generally fun without being cheesy or cliche.
2)I I was okay with the casting and performances. Channing Tatum has always done well in action sequences, and because this was basically non-stop action...it was nice to see him in his element. Dennis Quaid's strut was a little strange, but I expect that was a nod to the show that went over my head. Sienna Miller always plays the mean girl perfectly. And well, Joseph Gordon-Levitt is just having a stellar summer.
3) I was okay with the outfits. I was okay with the occasional corny line. After all, for all intents and purposes, this is a superhero movie - certain things are expected and allowed.
4) I was not okay with all the CGI-ing. When you CG an air craft carrier - which included no special gadgets or action shots, you lose my good graces. That was the big example, but there were tons of little things that were fakey looking. I suppose the film-makers just didn't take the time to figure out how to integrate CG and real stuff a la Lord of the Rings style. The big fly CGI spoiled the whole experience. Miniatures, people!
5) As Goolsby said, the kid-on-kid action was unexpected and a little disconcerting. I would want any kids to be 10+ when they see this...by then they should know that hitting other kids is no bueno.
Close, but no cigar. I'd definitely advise to see the cheap showing on the big screen...I think this movie will look abnormally lame on your TV if you wait for DVD.
Phipps overall: 2
Gosh, try filming with miniatures next time.
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